


my only wish this year (it’s you)

by lost_n_stereo



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU inside of an AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas Fluff, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 23:30:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8820667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_n_stereo/pseuds/lost_n_stereo
Summary: Clarke Griffin is alone for the holidays. When she makes a wish on a shooting star (or was it a satellite) she doesn't expect to wake up next to the object of her recent affections, the hot nerdy guy she's been crushing on from afar. Is this the most bizarre dream she's ever had or has Clarke's reality been altered to grant her wish for a not so lonely holiday.
Modern Christmas AU.





	1. Chapter 1

It’s a blistering thirty four degrees when she steps out of her apartment building. The cold wind whips around her face, causing her blonde curls to bite into her skin with every step.

“Why didn’t I bring a hair tie?” She mumbles to herself as she ducks her head, hurrying down the busy New York City sidewalk towards the subway. The Burberry trench she got for her birthday is wrapped around her tightly, a bright pink cashmere scarf draped around her neck, but they are no match for the cold morning.

_At least it’s not raining._

As if on cue the skies open up and she feels the first raindrops of the day. Growling in frustration because she, once again, forgot her umbrella at home (and if you think she’s not going to email a complaint to the weatherman that said it was clear skies today than you are sorely mistaken) so she quickens her pace until she’s practically running.

“Sorry!” She yells when she almost knocks a couple off the sidewalk and she exhales a sigh of relief when she’s finally to the subway station.

She toys with her phone while she waits for her train. Her best friend and coworker Raven Reyes has a tendency to flood her Facebook messages with memes and she snorts to herself as she reads through the ones sent to her while she was asleep.

“What’s funny?”

A deep, raspy voice pulls her away from the screen and she almost falls over when she sees who it belongs to.

_Him._

At least, that’s how she’s always thought of him in her head. Him. Capital H and italicized. Middle of the page, big bold letters.

_**HIM.**_

It’s a silly crush but she’s been harboring it longer than she’s comfortable with. Usually if she likes someone she makes a move. Pretty girl at the coffee shop? Not a problem to jot her number down and slide it across the counter. Hot guy at the gym? Five words (Hey, want to spot me?) and she’s leaving with his information.

But this guy? She’s stumped, if she’s being honest. He’s not at all her type, for starters. Tall with broad shoulders, a mop of brown curls that hang in his face. Silver wire rimmed glasses that he pushes up on his nose at least once a minute. There hasn’t been a single morning that she’s seen him where he wasn’t holding a book or reading a book or using a book as a pillow.

Yes, that actually happened once.

Nerdy bookworms are usually not her cup of tea but this one…this one she’d be willing to make an exception for.

He’s still just staring at her, an amused smirk on his lips, and she wishes she could die of embarrassment rather than tell him what she’s laughing at.

“Oh umm…”She holds up her phone awkwardly. “Just some memes.”

He grins and she hates the blush it sends across her cheeks. “I see. Well, I’ll leave you to it.”

She goes to say something to him but his back has already turned, his black pea coat nothing more than a blur as he steps onto the newly arrived train.

***

“And you didn’t say anything else?”

Clarke rolls her eyes as she clicks away at her keyboard. “No, I didn’t say anything else.”

Raven snickers as she takes a sip of her coffee. The words _Mechanics have the best lubrication_ are written across the side, an homage to the four years Raven spent in the Air Force as a special vehicle mechanic.

Now they both work in the city at Green Publishing, a small but successful publishing company owned and operated by Monty Green. Monty, who’s actually younger than Clarke by two years, graduated from high school at fifteen and college at nineteen. Now at twenty-three he’s married to his high school sweetheart Harper and they live a perfect life in the Upper West Side.

No, Clarke isn’t envious. She’s just been feeling a little lonely lately. This time of year doesn’t help since her mom lives three hundred miles away and her father passed away almost seven years ago.

“Didn’t Monty tell you to stop using that mug?” Clarke asks to distract Raven from the conversation but her friend isn’t having it.

“Don’t deflect,” Raven says as she points a manicured finger in Clarke’s direction. “I know you like this guy. Why don’t you talk to him?”

Clarke sighs and straightens up an already perfectly straight stack of papers near her computer monitor. “Because he’s not my type.”

Raven raises an eyebrow. “He reads. You’re an editor. He’s hot, or so you say. And so are you, so I say. I don’t see the problem here?”

“It’s not that simple,” Clarke argues but it’s weak at best. Raven has a point as much as she doesn’t want to admit it. The guy is obviously an avid reader and Clarke works at a hip publishing company smack dab in the heart of Manhattan. It’s the perfect way to strike up a conversation.

So why does the thought of talking to him make her palms sweat and her heart race?

“You love him!” Raven announces and Clarke grimaces, looking around to make sure no one is listening to the ravings of the mad woman standing in front of her. Raven grins wolfishly and sticks her head out of Clarke’s office door. “Clarke Griffin is in L-O-V-E, people! It’s in the air!”

“Ugh, Raven! Shut the hell up!” Clarke jumps up and pulls her friend until they are both fully into the office before shutting the door behind her. “You’re spouting nonsense.”

Raven snorts and plops herself down in one of the plush oversized chairs in front of Clarke’s desk. “Am not.”

Clarke snickers as she takes her seat again. “Mature.”

“Sorry but I’m not really sorry.” Raven shrugs before leaning over Clarke’s desk, her chin resting in her hand. “There’s no magical solution for this one, Griffin. You want the guy? Make a move.”

“But it would be so much easier!” Clarke groans and drops her head on her desk. “Why can’t I just make a wish and then all of my dreams could just become reality?”

Raven laughs as she reaches over to pat Clarke on the head. “That would be nice, wouldn’t it?”

“You have no idea.”

Clarke shoos Raven out shortly after that since there are two manuscripts that are in need of her immediate attention. She works through her lunch and is late leaving the office but the day after tomorrow is Christmas Eve which means a four day weekend so she really wanted to get her work done before then.

She stops short when she gets on the train to go home because he is sitting there, a book in his hand of course. It’s a little startling until she realizes that she’s taking the subway an hour later than usual so this must be the time he takes it every day. She’s never even thought about it because she’s only ever seen him on the ride in the morning.

The seat she rides in every afternoon just so happens to be directly in front of him. She glances around but seats are filling up fast and she likes to stick to her routines. Groaning internally she makes her way over to the seat and sits down, busying herself by searching for her headphones in the bottom of her bag so she doesn’t openly stare at the gorgeous stranger in front of her.

“I’ve never seen you on the way home before.”

His gravelly voice pulls her head up and then she’s staring into his deep brown eyes. “Uh…yeah.” She mentally kicks herself for that genius response. “Work ran late.”

“The worst,” he says and when he grins at her she’s almost positive her panties just melted straight off her body. “I’m Bellamy, by the way. Bellamy Blake.”

He holds his hand out and she wishes she could wipe hers off before placing it in his. She’s got to be sweating like crazy because her body feels like it’s on fire.

“Clarke Griffin.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Clarke,” he says as he shakes her hand and when she pulls her own back she can still feel her skin tingling from his touch.

Clarke just smiles and nods, looks down at the book in his hand and realizes what it is that he’s reading.

“You’re reading Life in the Void.”

Bellamy looks surprised when he glances down at the book in his hands. “Yeah, I am. Have you read it?”

Clarke laughs. “About a million times.” When he gives her a curious look she smiles. “I edited it. My publishing house, well not mine but the one I work for, we published it.”

“Wow,” he says, clearly impressed, and Clarke is happy that Raven was right. They actually do have something in common. “So you’re probably going to be pretty pissed when I tell you there’s a typo on page 244, right?”

“What?!” Clarke sits up in her seat and Bellamy shakes his head as he starts to laugh.

“I’m just messing with you,” he tells her and she scowls. “And do you think I’d really remember one random typo and the page it was on?”

“I guess you have a point.”

They sit and discuss the novel and before she knows it they are pulling into their stop. Clarke moves to gather her things and realizes that Bellamy isn’t doing the same.

“Isn’t this your stop?” She asks. She was secretly hoping that he lives somewhere near her and that they would walk together.

“It is, yeah.” He starts to say something else but his phone dings in his pocket and she catches a glimpse at the screen. A gorgeous brunette is smiling up in the picture, the name Octavia across the top and _of course_ he has a girlfriend. He’s smiling as he thumbs in a response text and Clarke is more than ready to get the hell off this train. “I’m having dinner two stops down.”

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” she says as she pulls her bag over her shoulder. “It was nice talking to you, Bellamy.”

“You too, Clarke.”

She can barely hear him say goodbye because she’s pushing her way through the crowd to walk home alone.

***

Bellamy isn’t on the train the next morning and she tries really hard not to think about why as she makes her way from the subway stop to Green Publishing’s brick building.

Raven tries to bug her for details after Clarke admits that she finally talked to him but she won’t give up anything except his name and that he has a good taste in fiction.

“Bellamy Blake.” Raven repeats the name a few times out loud. “Why does that sound so familiar?”

Clarke shrugs as she makes a note of yet another adverb in the young adult romance she’s currently editing.

“I’m going to Google him,” Raven announces. Clarke tries to tell her to stop but Raven already has the page brought up by the time she makes her way around her desk to where Raven is sitting. “Oh my God, I know him!”

“What?!” Clarke grabs the phone out of Raven’s hand to see Bellamy’s face smiling up at her. “No you don’t.”

Raven nods and reaches for her phone again. “Yeah, I do! The year I came back from the Air Force I took a few classes over at the community college because well free and he was a teacher’s assistant in the psych class I took. I knew that name sounded familiar!”

Clarke’s not shocked that Bellamy would be a teacher’s assistant. He certainly looks the part. With those sexy glasses and the completely dorky but yet somehow still attractive nerdy clothes that he wears…

Raven pulls her out of her Bellamy daydream by reading off pieces of information about him on Google.

“Looks like he teaches 4th grade history at Hudson Elementary. One sister, Octavia Blake, she’s a freshman at NYU. He’s 28, wow little older than you but he’s still hot.”

Clarke gapes at all of this new information. “Jeez, Reyes. You’re in the wrong field. You should definitely be a private detective.”

“Pshh,” Raven scoffs. “These days all you need to know is someone’s name and city and you can find out their entire life.”

“That’s actually sort of scary,” Clarke says but then something hits her and she stills. “Wait, did you say a _sister_ named Octavia?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Right before I got off the subway yesterday, Bellamy got a text from a pretty girl named Octavia. I just assumed she was his girlfriend.”

“Well you know what they say about assuming,” Raven jokes and Clarke pokes her in the side. “And maybe he crashed at his sister’s place or something last night and just went to work from there.”

Clarke nods. “Yeah, maybe.”

She spends the rest of the day working on a completely drab non-fiction novel and briefly considers staying late in the hopes of seeing Bellamy on the way home again. Then she decides that she’s not going to be one of those desperate women that changes her way of life for a man and packs up her stuff to head home for the long weekend.

Her phone buzzes in her pocket when she’s almost home and she smiles when she sees her mother’s face beaming up at her from the screen.

“Hey mom,” she says as she crosses the street in front of her apartment building and she balances the phone between her shoulder and ear as she digs through her purse for her keys.

“Hi, sweetie!” Her mom’s cheerful voice digs at her heart a little, this being the first year they won’t be celebrating Christmas together. “Marcus says hello!”

Marcus Kane, her stepfather, yells out a greeting from the background and Clarke grins. Some people might hate their stepparents but Clarke adores her stepdad.

“Tell him hello back,” she says, finally finding her keys and opening up the door. “How’s San Francisco?”

Marcus’s family hails from the city and Clarke’s mom agreed that they should spend their first married Christmas with his family. Clarke was invited but thought it might be better if her mom got to know his family without her as a distraction. She’s already planned a trip home for New Year’s Eve so she knows they will make up the time then.

“It’s beautiful! We’re taking a trip to Napa this weekend which should be lovely.”

Clarke listens to her mother talk about wine country for another ten minutes as she chops vegetables for her dinner. There’s something so calming about just listening to her speak and Clarke welcomes the distraction from her ever growing loneliness.

It’s not until later, when she’s curled up with a book and a cup of hot cocoa on her balcony, that it really hits her again how alone she is this Christmas. She’s just about to go inside and either drink or cry until she falls asleep when she looks up and sees a shooting star dart across the sky. At least she thinks it’s a shooting star, could be a satellite.

“Can you wish on these types of shooting stars?” She ponders out loud, shrugging as she closes her eyes tight.

_I wish I wasn’t alone this Christmas._

When she opens her eyes she’s still standing on her balcony, book in one hand and mug in the other, so she heads off to bed alone and eager to get this holiday over with.

***

She wakes up on Christmas Eve with a heavy weight on her chest.

Not figuratively either. There is actually something on her chest and she feels like she can’t breathe.

When she moves to get out from under whatever it is she hears a deep groan behind her and she freezes because she’s almost a thousand percent sure she went to bed alone last night. Her apartment building has a security guard and the chance of someone getting through her locked fifth floor apartment window is slim.

She must be dreaming. That’s the only explanation for the fact that there is definitely a man lying behind her (and she knows it’s a man because of the hardness pressed against her behind) so she is definitely dreaming and will probably wake up any second.

Then the hand attached to the arm currently over her moves and covers her breast, his fingertips moving expertly over her and she fights back a moan.

“Happy Christmas Eve, baby.” His raspy voice is in her ear and she gasps. That voice is so familiar. Too familiar.

She jumps up and out of bed quickly, barely recognizing the fact that she’s in a little silk nightie she definitely didn’t wear to bed. His tanned skin is on full display, a mess of dark brown curls falling over his face as he peers up at her in question.

“Bellamy?!”


	2. Chapter 2

“Bellamy?!”

Bellamy Blake, nerdy stranger from the train, is in her bed. This is definitely a dream.

“Babe, what’s wrong with you?” Clarke watches in a sort of sick fascination as he reaches over to the bedside table and pulls his glasses from a little dish sitting there. Wait…where did that dish come from? And why does he do this so naturally as if it’s something he does every morning?

She looks around to make sure she’s still in her apartment but yep, her purple curtains are on the window and her father’s leather armchair is in the corner. Her clothes are visible from the closet but there are jeans hanging up that are definitely not hers and is that a sweater vest?

_What is going on?!_

“What is going on?!”

Bellamy visibly flinches when she raises her voice and she instantly feels like shit. But then again, this strange man was sleeping next to her all night and she certainly didn’t invite him to. Not saying she wouldn’t have if given the chance but that is so not the point right now.

“Clarke, are you okay?” Bellamy’s voice is laced with concern, his glasses now sitting askew on his nose. “If this is about Octavia coming today for dinner, it’s going to be fine. You know she doesn’t care if everything is perfect.”

Clarke can’t believe what she’s hearing right now. Like it’s just a normal conversation and he’s not some rando in her bed. “Octavia…your sister? Is coming to my house for dinner?”

Bellamy frowns and Clarke tries desperately not to ogle his bare chest when he sits up straighter. “I thought when I moved in you said it was our house? You’re not having second thoughts are you?”

Clark scowls and starts pacing the room, definitely aware of the fact that Bellamy’s eyes are following her movements. “How can I have second thoughts when I don’t even know why you’re here? I don’t know you! This…” she motions around, pointing to a man’s watch and wallet resting on her dresser. “This is a dream! You don’t live here. We don’t know each other! You’re just a hot stranger from the subway that I see every morning. We’ve only spoken twice!”

She’s breathing heavily now, her hand to her chest as she leans back against the wall. Bellamy starts to get up from the bed, probably to comfort her but she holds up a hand and he stills.

“Clarke…” He says softly but she shakes her head. Him speaking to her like this, like he _knows_ her, it’s unnerving. “Baby, please tell me what’s going on.”

He’s inching towards her like she’s a horse ready to bolt and her skin burns when he places a hand on her bare elbow.

“Please talk to me.” He bends his face down so his eyes meet her own.

“I don’t know you,” she says quietly. “This is not my life. You are not my boyfriend.”

Bellamy sighs and shakes his head. She jumps when he moves his arm around her but he’s pulling something off of the bookshelf near her back.

“If I’m not your boyfriend, explain this.”

What he hands her is a small silver picture frame that she’s never seen before. Inside is a photo of them, laughing and kissing in Central Park.

“Anything could be photo shopped,” she mumbles she stares down at the picture but it’s the two of them all right. Her smile is wide and happy as she drapes her arms around Bellamy’s neck. He’s grinning with his arms tight around her waist. 

He’s so sincere that she can only nod and his sigh of relief is audible when he pulls her so she’s hugging him. Without thinking about it she wraps her arms around his waist and lets him hold her.

“Maybe you’re just experiencing some last minute holiday anxiety,” he whispers in her ear. His breath against her neck makes her shiver and she thinks _fuck it_. If this is a dream, she’s going to enjoy being in his arms.

“Yeah,” she says, playing along. “Yeah, that must be it.”

He places a kiss to her temple and she shivers. To him, this is probably an everyday occurrence but to her it’s the first time his lips have ever touched her skin. It feels incredible, if she’s being honest.

“You’re cold,” he says when he feels her shaking. “Go take a hot bath. Octavia and Lincoln won't be here for awhile so you have plenty of time.”

She has no idea who Lincoln is but she nods dumbly and heads towards the bedroom but not before snagging her phone off the nightstand by her bed.

Once she’s safely locked inside the bathroom she scrolls through her contacts and fires off a text to Raven.

_**Do I have a boyfriend?** _

She chews on her fingernail while she waits for her best friend’s response, hoping that it’s something along the lines of, “Of course not, don’t be silly!”

Instead what she gets is _**Uh…duh. Bellamy. What are you smoking this early in the morning? And also, can I have some?**_

Clarke growls as she thumbs in her response.

_**Don’t you remember Googling him yesterday?** _

Raven’s response is quick and Clarke rolls her eyes as she reads it. 

_**Again…what are you smoking and can I have some? Or are you digging into the eggnog already? Are you nervous about O and Lincoln coming over or what?** _

Clarke scoffs. _O?_ Her best friend has a nickname for Bellamy’s sister and apparently knows whoever this Lincoln person is.

_**Raven, I am freaking out. Last night when I went to sleep I was single and alone. This morning I wake up to a half naked Bellamy in my bed when all I remember him as is the hot nerdy dude from the train. HELP!!!!** _

Her phone rings ten seconds later and Clarke rushes to answer it before Bellamy can hear the obnoxious rap song Raven set as her personalized ringtone. At least some things haven’t changed.

“Okay, what is this nonsense about waking up in a different life?”

Clarke is so happy to hear a familiar voice that she almost cries. “I know it sounds crazy, Ray. Trust me, I do! But last night I was alone and then this morning, bam! There’s a half naked boy in my bed!” 

Raven sighs and Clarke knows that she’s just humoring her when she says, “Okay. I’m not saying I believe you because you’re right, it’s crazy. Walk me through what you remember from last night.”

Clarke closes the lid of the toilet and sits down, pulling her legs up and resting her chin on her knee. “Okay. So last night I left work, came home. Talked to my mom about San Francisco and had dinner. Then I sat on the balcony and read a little. Saw a shooting star and made a silly wish…”

She sits upright so fast she almost drops her phone. Raven says her name a few times before she finally brings the phone back up to her ear.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

“The wish.”

“What?” Raven laughs. “What wish?”

Clarke nods excitedly even though Raven can’t see her. “I made a wish, Raven! A wish that I wouldn’t have to be alone for the holidays. And when I woke up, Bellamy was in my bed. That’s gotta be it, right?” 

Her friend is silent for so long that Clarke actually looks down to make sure she’s still on the line.

“You really think you made a Christmas wish and it came true?”

Clarke sighs. There is no way that this makes sense but somehow it’s the _only_ thing that makes sense.

“I wished for this, Ray. I was sad and lonely and I wished for it. For Bellamy. And it came true.”

“Then why are you sitting alone in a bathroom instead of being with your literal wish come true?”

Clarke’s mouth drops. “How did you know I was locked in the bathroom?”

“Because I know you,” Raven snickers. “And I’m not saying I believe you…”

“You said that already.”

Raven laughs. “Yes, and it’s still true. But I think you need to realize that this is your life. You wanted it and you have it. So enjoy it.”

***

Thirty minutes later, after she’s soaked in a bath so hot it left her skin pink, she emerges from the bathroom to the smell of bacon wafting in from the kitchen.

Clarke peeks into the kitchen to see Bellamy standing in front of her stove, wearing nothing but a pair of low slung plaid pajama pants. He’s humming a song she doesn’t recognize and flipping pancakes with one hand while adjusting his glasses with the other.

He’s so beautiful it sort of makes her chest hurt.

She’s just standing there, staring at him like an idiot, when he turns around. Her first instinct is to flee but then he flashes her a dazzling smile and she finds her feet moving towards him against her will. Though to be fair it’s not as if she’s trying really hard to resist.

“How was your bath?” He asks, dipping down to kiss the top of her head when she’s close enough. “Feel better?”

He’s studying her closely, eyebrows dipped in like he’s afraid she’s going to have another episode and declare that he’s a stranger to her. Which he is but she’s quickly realizing that whatever _this_ is, to him they are in love.

“It was good,” she says absently as she looks around the kitchen. There are cans and boxes stacked on every available surface and a giant turkey defrosting in the sink. “So…”

Bellamy catches her puzzled look and laughs. “Sorry about the mess. I like to have everything out before I cook. It helps me focus.”

Clarke breathes a sigh of relief because in her other life she definitely wasn’t a good cook and it’s obvious that in this one Bellamy has taken over the duties easily.

“So your sister and Lincoln are coming over today,” she says as she leans her hip against the counter top. She’s hoping she can dig some info out of Bellamy so she doesn’t look like an idiot when their house guests arrive.

Bellamy gives her one of those looks like she’s asking weird questions again and she internally cringes. “Yeah,” he says with a chuckle. “This dinner has been planned for weeks, remember? Christmas Eve at our place because they are going to Lincoln’s family cabin for Christmas and New Years.”

“Oh, right.” She knows she doesn’t sound convincing at all but at least she doesn’t sound like a lunatic that doesn’t know her own boyfriend. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Lincoln is probably Octavia’s boyfriend, and thanks to Raven she knows that Octavia goes by O. If only they had Googled Bellamy just a little bit longer. More information would have come in very handy in this bizarre situation.

Guess you can never really plan to wake up in an alternate reality though.

“Alright there?”

Bellamy is watching her again and she sighs. There is no way she’s going to get through this if he keeps looking at her like she’s losing her mind.

“Of course,” she laughs and it surprises them both when she leans up on her toes to kiss him on the corner of his mouth. “I’m going to go get ready before our guests arrive.”

“I’ll be here cooking,” he jokes and she snags a piece of bacon with a smile before heading back to her bedroom.

Or _their_ bedroom. Damn, that’s going to take some getting used to.

When she goes to her closet to find something to wear there’s a red dress hanging in a plastic dry cleaning bag so she assumes that’s what she’s meant to wear today. She pairs it with a pair of white heels and gets to work on her hair and makeup. 

The doorbell rings when she’s applying her mascara and she almost stabs herself in the eye when she hears Bellamy invite his sister and her boyfriend into the apartment.

“Where’s Clarke?”Octavia asks, her voice carrying through the apartment.

“She’s getting ready,” Bellamy answers. “Give her a few minutes before you bombard her with all of _you_. She had a rough morning.”

“What happened?”

Clarke tries to hear what is being said but Bellamy has lowered his voice and she’s positive he’s telling his little sister how she flat out lost her marbles this morning.

With her makeup down and her outfit impeccable there’s not much else she can do to stall so she smooths out invisible wrinkles in her dress and slides her feet into her heels.

“Here goes nothing,” she mumbles to herself before blowing out a breath and opening the bedroom door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next, Clarke meets the in laws! Hope you enjoyed chapter 2! Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

“Finally!”

She’s barely out of the door before a sea of brown hair is in her face as Bellamy’s little sister attack hugs her.

“Hello, Octavia.”

Clarke hopes like hell her voice isn’t too stiff or awkward. The last thing she needs is to have another person questioning her sanity today.

“So formal,” Octavia laughs and it’s then that Clarke remembers the younger girl’s nickname. _Damn it._ She really has to find a way to adapt to her new situation. “You look gorgeous, by the way.”

Clarke smiles and smooths down the front of her dress. “Thanks,” she says quietly. “Found this in the closet.”

Bellamy chuckles and moves so he’s standing next to her. “Don’t let this one fool you,” he tells his sister. “She searched for weeks to find the perfect dress.” Clarke shivers when he brushes his lips against the shell of her ear. “You look stunning, by the way.”

Her voice is practically a whisper when she says, “Thank you.” His fingers are dancing across the small of her back and even through the fabric she feels like her skin is on fire. It’s amazing that even though she doesn’t know this man from Adam her body reacts to his as if they have known each other forever.

“Bellamy,” she chides, elbowing him in the side. “I’m trying to be humble and charming.”

Everyone laughs and she exhales a breath, thankful that she’s at least playing the part of New Clarke without raising any more eyebrows.

She plays her part throughout dinner, listening to every word Octavia and Lincoln say to piece together their roles in her new life. Lincoln is an architect in the city at a pretty prestigious firm. Octavia dabbles in both fashion design and martial arts in college but her real passion has yet to be discovered. Clarke can tell through body language that Bellamy is still on edge about the age difference between his baby sister and this much older man. She watches the way his fingers tighten over the stem of his wine glass when they share a kiss or how his jaw clenches when they talk about moving in together. She files that information away in the back of her mind in case he brings it up later.

Which he does about fifteen minutes after they leave.

“Do you think he’s too old for her?”

This can’t be the first time they have had this talk because she’s gleaned that the two of them have been together awhile.

“This again?” She takes a stab in the dark and when he sighs and shrugs she knows that she was right in her assumption. “Bellamy, they obviously really care for each other.”

“I know,” he says as he scrubs a dish at the sink. “I know but it doesn’t make it any easier though.”

Her first instinct is to comfort him so that’s what she does.

“You love her,” she says as she slides her hand up his back. “You worry about her. That’s normal.” Her hand finds his shoulder and she stills when he leans down to kiss her knuckles.

“Thank you,” he says quietly and her breath hitches when he turns so he’s facing her.

 _This is it_ , she thinks. She’s finally going to kiss him. It would be impossible for her to put a number to how many times she’s thought of this moment since the first time she saw him on the train.

A sigh leaves her lips the second he brushes his against them and it makes him smile. Her skin erupts in goosebumps when he slides one of his hands down her bare shoulder to her hand, pulling her up against him as he deepens the kiss.

“I’ve been waiting to do that all day,” he murmurs against her neck and she can’t help the little moan she lets out.

“Is that so?”

“Mhm.” He nods against her neck, peppering kisses along her collarbone until he reaches her mouth again. “You look so fucking hot in this dress. It’s basically killing me.”

Clarke laughs quietly. “You should see me out of it then.” She looks up at him from under her lashes and grins when he groans and presses himself against her.

“Your room or mine,” he says and then fakes a surprised look. “Oh wait! I must have forgotten.”

“You’re an asshole,” she chides him and he snickers. “I didn’t forget,” she lies. “It was just holiday stress, like you said.”

“Good,” he tells her as he leads her away from the kitchen and towards the bedroom. “But just in case you are having any more trouble, let me refresh your memory.”

She follows him willingly into the dark room, her small hand in his, and decides that if this is a dream, it’s the best damn one she’s ever had.

***

The sun is shining through her window the next morning and for a second she’s positive that she dreamt it all.

But then she feels a strong arm pull her closer and she feels an ache that she hasn’t felt in far too long below the covers and it all comes crashing back to her.

Waking up on Christmas Eve morning with a strange man in her bed. Dinner with Bellamy and his family. The kiss in the kitchen and then after…

Oh boy, the _after_.

She knows he’s awake because he’s drawing nonsensical patterns across her bare stomach. A part of her feels a little scandalous for going to bed with a man she’s literally spoken to a handful of times but then she remembers that _this_ Clarke has probably slept with him countless times and it somehow makes her feel a little better.

“Morning,” he mumbles against her shoulder and she smiles. “Last night was…”

She freezes. Could he possibly know that she’s not who he thinks she is? “Last night was…?”

Bellamy brushes his lips against the back of her neck and she shivers. “Honestly? Don’t make fun of me but it felt like the first time.”

Her teeth dig into her bottom lip. “Is that a bad thing?”

She can actually feel his chuckle rip through his entire body. “No, baby. Not at all. It was incredible.”

Clarke knows she’s grinning like an idiot but she doesn’t care. It _was_ incredible; he’s not lying about that. He knew exactly what to do to make her keen out his name. It was like her body was an instrument that only he knew how to play. Every touch, every kiss, set her entire body on fire. It didn’t just make her top five list, it blew every sexual encounter she’s ever had completely off the map.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself,” she jokes and he’s grinning when he turns her so she’s on her back so he can kiss her properly.

“You’re damn right I did,” he tells her between kisses. His hands are firm on her hips and she can feel him hardening against her hip. “How about a repeat?”

She gasps when his teeth graze her breast as he makes his way down her chest. “Yeah,” she bites out. “Yeah, I’d be willing to give it a shot.”

He looks up when he hits her belly button. “Hey, Clarke?” His eyes are practically twinkling with happiness when she looks down.

“Yeah?”

“Merry Christmas, baby.”

She moans when his mouth finds her most sensitive spot and she decides that this is most definitely her favorite Christmas ever.

It’s almost noon by the time they make it out of bed. She gasps when he steps into the shower behind her, pressing into her so slowly that it almost hurts.

“Fuck, Bell.”

He groans against her neck. “I’m sorry you’re just so sexy today. It’s like I can’t help myself. It’s like I’m experiencing you for the first time all over again.”

Clarke moans when he hits a particularly deep spot inside her. “Why do you think that is?” Her heart is beating so fast in her chest and she knows it’s not just because how good he’s making her feel.

“Who knows,” he says, his hands tightening on her hips. “Who cares. I just love you.”

Her heart is going to leap out of her chest if it beats any harder. No one has ever said it to her that way before, with such reverence like she’s the most important thing in the world.

Instead of repeating the words back to him she lets her forehead hit the cool tile wall in front of her and revels in his love.

***

“Where are we going?”

Bellamy laughs behind her, his fingers tight over her eyes, as he leads her through the busy streets of Manhattan.

“You’ll see,” he says in her ear and an involuntary shiver runs down her spine. It’s insane what this man can do to her with just his voice.

He tells her to step down and she realizes quickly that he’s taking her to the subway.

“Why are we getting on the train,” she asks just as he pulls his hands away.

“We’re not,” he says and she raises an eyebrow. “Look around,” he laughs. “This is where we had our first kiss, remember?”

It doesn’t feel like a trap, something he’d say to see if she was really over the whole _I have no idea who you are_ thing.

“Of course,” she says even though she has no idea how it all went down. Damn, how she wishes that she did though.

“You were there,” he says pointing to a pillar near the wall. “And you were wearing that little pink peacoat that you have. You looked so fucking adorable, pretty sure you were reading some text from Raven, and your face was lit up in this gorgeous smile.”

“We weren’t dating,” she says because even though she doesn’t remember this moment somehow she knows it’s true.

Bellamy shakes his head. “Nope. Had only talked a handful of times but I walked up to you, told you that you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen and that if you didn’t go on a date with me that I might just die.”

Clarke laughs, picturing the scene as he describes it. A part of her, somewhere deep down, feels that it’s true. If she tries hard enough she can almost _remember_.

“And I kissed you,” she says with certainty.

Bellamy nods. “You did. And it both shocked me and scared me all at the same time because if this tiny little thing could knock me on my ass with one kiss how could I possibly survive?”

Clarke blushes as she wraps her arms around his waist. “I’m glad that you did.”

His smile is beautiful when he kisses her on the tip of her nose. “Yeah, me too.”

They spend the day like tourists. Holding hands, sipping hot chocolate and sightseeing around a city she’s lived in her entire life. It feels different than anything she’s experienced before. There is a calm easiness to their connection, like she’s known him all her life.

When he kisses her in front of a brightly lit store window, whispering into her ear how much he loves her, it’s easy to let the words fall off of her tongue.

“I love you too.”

The crazy thing is…she thinks that she might mean it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the insane amount of time it's taken me to update this fic! With the holidays I got a little busier than anticipated but I am definitely finishing this up shortly. Only a couple chapters left to go! As always, thanks for reading/reviewing!


	4. Chapter 4

The week after Christmas is a blur of getting to know this man that already knows everything about her.

She finds out that he loves chocolate chip cookies but never with milk. He likes them with orange juice which is basically the grossest thing she’s ever heard. He’s fluent in three languages, knows more about history than anyone she’s ever met and can solve a Rubik’s Cube in under five minutes.

They spend their nights wrapped up in each other, his leg tucked in between hers and his head usually resting between her breasts. It’s as natural as breathing and every single night she goes to sleep terrified that when she wakes up the next morning she’ll be alone. There’s no way that this is permanent. She’s too happy, too content, and as great as it is, it still doesn’t feel _real_.

But every morning, there he is. Brown messy curls and his reading glasses askew as he reads from whatever book is sitting on their nightstand. She has grown to love the feel of his morning stubble brushing against her cheek when he kisses her good morning. His off key singing when he cooks her breakfast is endearing and when he makes love to her it’s like he’s setting her on fire from the inside out.

The last day of December starts with a snow flurry and Clarke holds a cup of hot chocolate in her hands as she watches kids playing in the park across the street from her apartment building.

“They’re cute,” Bellamy says when he comes up behind her, his nose cold on her neck when he presses a kiss to her shoulder.

Clarke nods and lets out a little sigh when he nibbles the skin behind her ear. “You’re insatiable.”

She can feel his chuckle against her entire body. “Sorry?”

“Don’t be,” she whispers as she turns around in his arms. “I love it.”

“And I love you,” he says before capturing her lips with his but she holds up a hand before he can take it any further.

“We’ve barely left the apartment all week,” she giggles when he bites her bottom lip and tugs. “It’s New Year’s Eve. What do you want to do?”

Bellamy turns her back around so he’s standing behind her again and holds her close against his front. “Nothing. I just want to sit on the balcony at midnight, my arms around my girl and a good bottle of wine to split between the two of us.”

Clarke sighs happily and leans back in his arms. “Sounds like heaven.” 

***

A heavy weight sits on her shoulders all day and she can’t figure out why.

Nothing is different than the last few days. They eat lunch at the dining room table, their legs intertwined underneath, and she snorts into her coffee when he does a spot on impression of Raven. They watch reruns of Friends and The Office until her sides hurt from laughing so much.

“Do you think something can be too perfect?”

She’s laying on the sofa with her feet in his lap and he tickles her heel as he ponders her question.

“That’s a little random. Explain?”

She shrugs and twists so her toes are running up the outside seam of his jeans. “I don’t know,” she admits. “Like this, _us._ Do you ever feel that it’s too good to be true? Like if we close our eyes for too long we’ll wake up and it’ll just be…”

He pokes her foot with his finger when she doesn’t elaborate. “It’ll just be what?”

“Gone.”

The word hangs between them and she wishes like hell she could just take it back. This is her life, at least for now, and she should be enjoying it, not making it awkward with random philosophical questions.

Bellamy holds out his hand for her and she rolls her eyes a little before letting him pull her across the couch.

“Clarke, I don’t know or care if this is too good to be true.” He pushes her hair out of her face and drops a kiss to her temple. “All I know is that I am happier with you than I am when I’m without you. I don’t want to lose that feeling. Ever.”

“Me either.”

They make love on the couch with the TV playing softly in the background and the snow falling steadily outside.

***  
Midnight feels like a deadline.

She can feel it in her bones, deep inside where her intuition lies. Something is off and she doesn’t want to believe it but she knows that it’s true.

Tonight is their last night.

Even though she can feel the clock ticking, like she’s some fucked up version of Cinderella, she doesn’t want it to change anything between them. She makes them a simple dinner with big glasses of wine that she spent way too much money on. They settle in to watch the ball drop, thankful that they are inside on this freezing winter night and not in the middle of thousands of strangers.

She’s in his arms (for now) and that’s enough for her.

Bellamy yawns at ten minutes to midnight and she panics. It’s too early to go to bed and she doesn’t want this night to end just in case she wakes up alone in the morning.

“Hey,” she pokes him in the side. “What happened to sitting on the balcony at midnight?”

He grins, albeit a little sleepily, and stands up. “What my lady wants, my lady gets.”

Clarke snickers and grabs the blanket from the back of the couch. “You’re a dork. Let’s go.”

The snow is still falling softly but they are protected by the overhang on her balcony. Clarke shivers a little despite her long sleeve shirt, pajama pants and wool socks.

“Come here,” Bellamy says quietly from behind her and she smiles as she settles between his outstretched legs on the wicker chaise. He runs his hands up and down her arms a few times. “You’re so cold.”

“I’m better now.” She snuggles into his warmth and he kisses her neck once before putting his chin on her head.

It’s then that a light in the sky catches her eye and she sucks in a breath. _No, this can’t be happening._

“Was that a shooting star?” Bellamy asks her and she closes her eyes in a panic.

_God, I hope not._

“Maybe it’s a satellite,” she says weakly. “Don’t think you can make a wish on those though.”

“Then we’ll pretend,” he tells her sweetly. “Make a wish, Clarke.”

Her heart is pounding. This can’t be over. It just can’t be. She’s not ready. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and makes her wish.

_I wish this was all real._

Bellamy is still holding her when she opens her eyes but she knows how this works. He’s going to be there when she falls asleep but come morning she’ll be back to her old life.

“I need to say something,” she says, sitting up so she’s facing him. “No matter what happens tomorrow I need you to know something.”

“Clarke…”

She shakes her head. “No, please don’t stop me. Just let me talk.” He nods his head and waits so she continues. “Before this week you were just this stranger to me. A guy I watched from afar and I know this doesn’t make sense to you but just bear with me, okay?”

He’s just staring at her and she knows there’s a question on the tip of his tongue but she’s not going to give him the chance to question her when they are running out of time.

“I didn’t know you but I do now and I am so in love with you, Bellamy Blake. I am hoping like hell that when I wake up tomorrow you’ll be here but if you’re not, then at least I got to spend the last week being loved by you.”

Tears are falling freely but she doesn’t try to stop them and Bellamy doesn’t say anything, just pulls her down until his lips are on hers. She’s sure that he can taste her tears but he doesn’t seem to mind, just kisses her deeper as sounds of celebration start up around them.

“Happy New Year,” he whispers against her lips. “No matter what, I am yours. Okay?”

She nods and smiles even though she feels like breaking down. “Take me to bed, Bellamy.”

He doesn’t have to be told twice.

***

She knows he’s not there before she even opens her eyes.

Her chest doesn’t feel heavy for one. Every morning she’s woken up to his arm lying under her breasts, the warmth of his skin acting like her own personal heater. The bed is too cold and she tries to pretend that she’s back in that other world. Back with him.

Her phone is going off next to her head and she sighs as she moves her hand around without opening her eyes.

 _Merry Christmas Eve!_ reads the text from Raven but…

What? It’s January 1st, not Christmas Eve. Isn’t it?

Only her phone confirms that it’s December 24th when she pulls up her calendar. Her heart is aching in her chest. She runs her hand absently over the empty side of the bed, her sight blurring when she sees the dish that held Bellamy’s glasses is nowhere to be found.

She needs a plan, a way to get him back into her life. There’s no way she can just run up to him and tell him that she’s seen what their life could be together but she can’t sit back and do nothing either.

For now though, because it’s Christmas Eve _again_ and she’s completely alone, she curls herself onto what she now thinks of as his side of the bed and she cries.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Six weeks later_ **

The sun is barely peeking through the clouds as she hurries along the street, a white cashmere scarf wrapped around her neck. She thought it would be festive to wear pink and white even though it’s not actually Valentine’s Day because it falls on a Sunday this year and she doesn’t work weekends.

“You’re here early,” Raven comments when Clarke passes her office. “Nice coat,” she snickers and Clarke flips her off.

“Shut it,” Clarke laughs. “I happen to love this coat, thank you very much.”

Once she’s in her office she unbuttons the baby pink peacoat and tries not to dwell too much on the memory of Bellamy telling her about their first kiss. It’s been a month and a half since the dream or whatever the hell it was and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t think about him every day.

There was a moment when they made eye contact on the subway not long after she _woke up_ and she could swear that he _knew_ , that he felt it too. But then he just smiled and boarded the train, asked her how her holidays were and went back to his book.

Her holidays, her _real_ holidays, were spent alone for the most part. She got together with Raven, Monty, Harper and some friends the day after Christmas for brunch. Raven listened intently as Clarke described the insanely detailed dream she had.

“You have to talk to him,” Raven insisted when Clarke finished telling her everything. “Maybe it was more than just a dream. Maybe it was a…glimpse.”

“A glimpse?”

Raven had just nodded excitedly. “Yes, like the universe showing you what your life could be like if you just took a chance.”

So she set out to talk to him more. Ask him on Mondays how his weekend was and then if he had any big plans on Fridays. They sit and laugh as they exchange stories about their crazy friends or family. She is getting to know him, slowly but surely, and she knows that soon she’ll have the guts to make a real move.

She didn’t get to see him this morning because she wanted the weekend to herself and the book she’s currently editing requires extra attention and she’d much rather do it in the office than on her downtime.

“What are you doing here so early?” Clarke asks Raven after grabbing each of them a cup of coffee from the break room. Raven does her grabby hands when Clarke passes her the mug and she laughs. “You’re never here this early. What’s up?”

Raven shrugs. “I may or may not have a date tonight and wanted to get some work done so I could get out of here early.”

Clarke mock gasps and puts a hand to her chest. “Why has my little Raven found a gentleman caller?”

Raven rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her coffee. “Shut up. His name is Wells and he’s a contractor for some big shot company in Brooklyn.”

Clarke sits up in her seat. “Wait a second…Wells? Wells Jaha?”

“Oh shit, why do you know his last name?”

Clarke grabs her phone and logs into Facebook, pulling up Wells’ profile. “Is this him?”

“Oh shit, why is he on your friends list?” Raven’s forehead hits the desk and Clarke laughs.

“I’ve known Wells Jaha since…god since we were infants. He was my first boyfriend, actually.”

This causes Raven to look up and scowl. “So you’re telling me that I’m about to go on a date with your childhood sweetheart?”

“If it makes you feel any better, he’s a very nice guy. And a pretty decent kisser but then again I was only eight so what do I know?”

Clarke ducks when Raven throws a stack of post its at her. “Get out of my office, will ya? I got work to do.”

The rest of the day passes without fanfare. Clarke throws Raven a wink when she heads out an hour early and she laughs when Raven scowls and flips her off. She still has another hour before she can head out of here so she buckles down to work, her headphones playing softly in her ear as she moves her red pen across the stack of papers in front of her.

The subway platform is surprisingly empty when she arrives so she pulls out her phone and scrolls through her Facebook and Twitter feeds.

She leans against a pillar with her phone in her hand and she can’t help but laugh out loud at a text that just came through from Raven.

_Still can’t believe I’m about to go mack on your childhood boyfriend. Wish me luck._

Clarke’s just about to type in a response when she hears a familiar voice behind her.

“You have the most adorable laugh I’ve ever heard.”

Her breath hitches in her chest when she turns around and sees Bellamy standing there with his hands tucked into his front pockets, a bright smile on his gorgeous face.

She blushes when he winks. “Thank you. What are you doing here? This isn’t your stop.”

Bellamy shakes his head and steps closer to her. “It’s not but I had to see you.”

“You did?”

Her heart is beating so fast it’s likely to take flight and fly right out of her chest.

Bellamy takes another step closer and then another until he’s almost toe to toe with her. “I did,” he nods. “Clarke, I have wanted to tell you something for weeks but it never seems to be the right time and I’m tired of waiting. Octavia keeps telling me to just make a move and she’s right so that’s what I’m doing.”

Clarke sucks in a breath when Bellamy reaches down for her hand. This can’t be happening. Not when she’s wearing exactly what he said she was wearing. Not when he’s saying exactly what he told her that he said.

“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. And if you don’t go out with me I might just die,” he chuckles. “Dramatic I know but I feel like we need to know each other. And I know that you feel it too, I can see it in your eyes when you look at me. Please tell me that you feel this too.”

She doesn’t nod or agree, just stands up on her toes and kisses him gently. A slight brush of her lips across his and it somehow feels exactly like she remembered but also an entirely new experience. His hands find her hips and he holds her close to him as he kisses her thoroughly.

“Wow,” he says when he pulls away. He rests his forehead on hers and smiles. “I definitely didn’t know that was going to happen.”

Clarke grins and tugs him down so she can speak against his lips.

“Don’t worry. I did.”

***  
 ** _10 months later_**

“Merry Christmas, baby.”

Clarke groans when Bellamy nips the skin right beneath her belly button with his teeth. “You too. Now don’t stop.”

Bellamy chuckles as he moves further down and she can feel his breath hot on her inner thigh. “Is it just me or does this feel a lot like déjà vu?”

Shortly after they started dating Clarke confided in him about her dream, her _glimpse_ and even though it seemed farfetched there were a lot of things she couldn’t have known otherwise. Octavia’s boyfriend Lincoln, for one. There was no way for Clarke to know about him and when she met the real Lincoln she almost had a heart attack. Also, the cookie thing. She almost laughs just thinking about the time she brought him a glass of orange juice with his stack of cookies instead of milk.

“How in the world…” He had looked from the glass to her a few times in awe and she had just laughed and shrugged. And of course she’ll never in her life forget the moment that’s happening again right now.

“Maybe because it’s happened before,” she says breathlessly as she clutches his shoulders. “Will you please, please give me my present now?”

“With pleasure,” he mumbles against her but instead of putting his mouth on her he puts a small box on her stomach instead.

“Bellamy…” She looks down, her eyes wide, as she takes in the black velvet box resting on her bare skin.

He grins, that devastatingly handsome smile he pulls out only on special occasions, and repositions himself so he’s hovering over her.

“Clarke, I feel like I’ve known you forever. I believe that this isn’t our first lifetime together and I don’t think it’ll be our last. So…” He pauses to open the box and Clarke feels the first tear hit her cheek when he pulls out the ring. “Will you marry me?”

She doesn’t nod or agree, just leans up and brushes her lips gently against his. A kiss that encompasses both the past and their future, familiar but as exciting as their first kiss like it always is.

“Should I take that as a yes?” He chuckles against her lips and she finally nods and holds out her hand so he can slip the ring on.

“Wow,” she says, resting her forehead against his. “I definitely didn’t know that was going to happen.”

He pushes a strand of hair out of her eyes and kisses her again.

“Don’t worry. I did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's finally complete! I really wanted this done closer to New Year's Eve but life got in the way! Thanks to everyone who read/liked/reblogged/commented/reviewed etc. this fluffy little fic. I know it was the absolute definition of corny holiday romance but those holiday movies are one of my favorite parts of Christmas and I really wanted to pay homage to them. Thanks again for reading and I really hope you enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> I should mention that I am O B S E S S E D with corny Christmas romcoms so this is my homage to every Hallmark and ABC Family holiday movie I've ever seen. Hope you enjoyed the first installment!


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